I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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