Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I deserve this hangover.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
