my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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