Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
