imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
you had me at cake vodka
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
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