fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
