do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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