Just mADE A PArabola og urine
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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