Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Such a big mess for such a small penis
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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