Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
