sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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