OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
