kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You need a sexual gate keeper
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
