Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
