I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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