Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
