Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
