there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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