I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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