btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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