margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize