i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
