so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
vagina is talking i cant
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
