if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
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It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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