He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
