i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
