He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
