you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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