I think i sorta joined a cult last night
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
