i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
