It's just like the Real World with babies
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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