I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
