one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
