I'm jealous of your bromance
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
