She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
