My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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