It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
