We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize