his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
