she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
