thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Randomize
