Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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