Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
