its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
