Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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