there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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