marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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