Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
