yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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