I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
