I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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