I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
