Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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