but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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