I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
my sisters under your porch take her home
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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