before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
