Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize