i jhust puked up my retainher.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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