Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
