then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
