no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize