have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
