don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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